Funny Quotes on Baby

Now it’s time to have some fun. Take a look at our collection of some funny quotes related to baby.

A list of some funny baby quotes:

“A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.” ~ Barbara Christine Seifert

“Making the decision to have a child–It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone

“Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.” ~ Marcelene Cox

“Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” ~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

“A baby’s an inestimable blessing and bother.” ~ Mark Twain

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” ~ Ed Asner

“A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” ~ Bill Vaughan

“If your baby’s “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.” ~ Theresa Bloomingdale

“People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” ~ Leo J. Burke

“Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby quote

“A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.” ~ Ronald Knox quote

“There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother’s age.” ~ ~ Dr. Benjamin Spock quote

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.” ~ Kin Hubbard quote

“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.” ~ Irish Proverb

“The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any.” ~ Fred Astaire

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Alan Murray owns runs a baby names site. Offers information on Breast milk and Baby Sitters